Showing posts with label save marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label save marriage. Show all posts

Sunday, May 16, 2010

4 Tips To Help Save A Marriage

There are 4 good tips to help save a marriage. None of them are terribly difficult to do, and they’re all very inexpensive. They’re simple common sense. Yet many people won’t try them, not even to save a marriage.

The first tip is to just stop arguing. Every time your partner says something that you want to get grumpy with or correct, just learn to let it go. By doing this you’re doing yourself and all of us a favor. When one person can learn to let things start rolling off her back, the other one will follow suit.

To help save a marriage, you are probably going to have to be the one to learn to let things go. You never know, your partner might be working on the same skills at the same time. But no matter how badly both people want to save the marriage, usually only one person is working on trying to keep the peace.

If your partner thinks that shirt is blue when it’s really an odd green, just think in your head “it’s green!” but let it go. It comes down to deciding that you want help to save the marriage and that’s more important than always being right about everything, or making sure your partner doesn’t make a mistake.

The next thing is to be dating again. Even if you’re not actually dating and going out together, you have to approach your relationship as if it’s new and you’ve just started dating. This isn’t always easy, especially if you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, but it’s necessary.

We all have a different perspective on our partners when the relationship is new. Everything is fresh and more exciting. After a while that freshness wears off and we start to get bored. Some call it routine and familiarity, but most people call it boring and predictable.

If you want to help save a marriage, then make sure it isn’t as boring and predictable as it has been. Surprise your partner with a special date night (and make sure you can reschedule, just in case they can’t go).

The third step is to love your partner in the way he or she wants to be loved. We all have things that make us happiest. Some like to be told that they’re loved constantly .Others find small gestures like you offering your gloves to them on a cold day to be the greatest things ever.

Some might think that changing the oil on the car for them is a supreme act of love, while others just want to be told “I love you” so they can feel cherished. The point is, your hours of loving your partner will be twice as effective if you do the things that you know make them happy.

Finally, be physically affectionate. Love and marriage aren’t all about sex, but it’s still important. If you want to help save a marriage, you’ll hug and kiss you partner many times throughout the day for no reason at all.

Monday, February 22, 2010

PULL It Together

Those who want help to save a marriage from ending in divorce need to PULL it together. It is a hard thing to watch a marriage that was once so precious and important fall apart. It's heart breaking to sit by as the two of you start going your separate ways. If you don't want that to happen then do something about it. Pull it together to help save the marriage.

Chill out:

Take a moment to catch your breath and step back from the situation. Not necessarily take a break from it but to just calm down. It is easy for things to get over-heated. Take a moment to catch your breath and give it a moment to cool off. When you were young you were probably told to count to 10 when you got angry so that you could give yourself a chance to get yourself under control.

The same principle applies here. Before you do anything else, take a breath. The next time something is said to you that makes you mad, calm down, get a hold of yourself and then let go of your anger. Only then can you truly learn how to communicate and take the next step to help save the marriage.

Understand what is happening:

While you are “chilling out” and taking a moment to breathe, take a look at what is happening. This is where you try and look at the big picture and then look at things from other perspectives. From where you are standing at the moment things may look pretty bad. Try to look at it from other perspectives and it might not be as bad as you thought.

Try looking at it from an outsiders perspective and from the one you love. From those other perspectives you might find out why things have been getting out of control. There may be a relatively simple solution to help save the marriage.

Laugh at yourselves:

This doesn't mean to make light of the situation but it does mean don't take yourselves so seriously. It is easy to make mountains out of mole hills. Things snowball out of control but when you are able to see what it was that actually made the snowball you may end up laughing at it.

It can be hilarious to find out how a minuscule  thing can turn into something so huge when it didn't have to. It can be hilarious if you are willing to let it be. Many times when people go through a rough time they will say, “Sometime we are going to look back at this and laugh!” Why wait?

Look for ways to improve:

Once you have had a chance to step back and catch your breath and then been able to get some perspective on the situation, you can move on. When you have realized that at it's root, this situation or problems that you have been struggling with is really small and manageable you can get things on track.

The next thing that you need to do is commit yourself to finding a way to improve. If you are responsible for the little things that get blown out of proportion, then try stopping it. If you have learned that you overreact, then stop it. Improve the way you handle situations and everything else may just fall into place to help save the marriage.

To help save the marriage, PULL together and bring back what belongs together...the two of you.