Today we are faced with so many things coming at us from so many directions. With all these stresses in life it's tough to keep our relationships strong, and if you want to save your relationship, just finding the time to work on it can be a challenge. This article will give you advice on love to save your relationship, it's aimed at all the overly stressed busy people who still want to make their relationships work.
Here are 3 things you can start doing today to keep your relationship strong, or pull it back from the brink. It's not so much about how much time you spend together, it's more about the quality of time that the two of you spend together. Keep that in mind when going over the list:
1. Figure out what activities that the two of you like to do as a couple. It doesn't matter if it's round of golf or a trip to the local movie theater. As long as you can share an experience that is enjoyable, for both of you. When it's your time, make arrangements for the kids to spend the night at grandma's, turn off the cell phones and Blackberries, take the phone off the hook, and turn off the t.v. This is about connecting with each other, not just co-existing in the same place at the same time.
This is so important for two reasons. One, it will allow you time to relax and unwind from the stresses of life. That will help each of you individually and also will allow both of you to bring more to the relationship since you'll be more relaxed and at ease. And two, it gives the two of you precious memories that you can relive from time to time with each other. It's fun to have shared experiences where you can say 'remember when we did...'? That creates a deeper bond between the two of you.
2. So many couples only talk about mundane daily things like asking your spouse if they had a good day, or if they picked up milk on the way home. Try to make time each week to really talk. Don't turn it into a complaining time, just talk. Tell your partner about your dreams, relive some fun past times, etc. Make it a positive time. Really be willing to talk, and listen, and let each other into your minds a little bit.
3. Try to always remind yourself what it was that first attracted you to your partner. Was it their laugh, their offbeat sense of humor, their goofy expressions? Whatever it was don't let yourself forget that. And while you're reminding yourself, make sure to let them know too. If you fell in love with their laugh, tell them, often, that you love the way they laugh. So much of that positive reinforcement seems to go out the window the longer the relationship goes on. And that's a shame. Everyone wants to feel loved and appreciated, don't ever let your partner feel like you don't find that thing you fell in love with attractive anymore.
A loving relationship is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Many people will tell you that relationships are 'hard' and that they 'take a lot of work'. I don't agree. I believe that if you are with the right person, if you're both mature adults who really want to make the relationship work, and if you know what to look out for, your relationship can be very easy. Just use this advice on love to save your relationship as a starting point.
Showing posts with label T. W. Jackson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label T. W. Jackson. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
Can I Get My Ex To Love Me Again
So you're now single or with someone new. . .but you can't get your ex out of your mind. You're always thinking "How can I get my ex to love me again. . ." And then you probably push the thought away because it seems impossible. The good news is that you can get your ex back in your arms. It has been done before, and not infrequently, and it can be done again, by you.
Men and women get out of relationships for different reasons, many of which are not understood by the opposite sex because men's and women's brains are wired differently. This makes things even more confusing. Some situations seem to be pretty straight-forward but most aren't.
So before we tackle your goal of getting your ex back, let's take a look at why he or she isn't around in the first place.
Why do men leave relationships? It's pretty simple, really. They leave when they aren't getting what they need. And one sure thing that they need is admiration and respect. It might be for that reason that they they left . . .and maybe they found it somewhere else. One of the most common reasons men give for leaving their wife or girlfriend is “No matter what I did, I couldn’t make her happy!”
Why do women leave relationships? They leave because they feel unappreciated and/or they leave because they are bored. What do you commonly hear from unhappy women? “He doesn’t appreciate a thing I do!”
Now, you might think that your ex's reasons for leaving don't fit into one of those categories. You may be thinking, "my husband left me because I cheated on him." But why did you cheat on him in the first place? It probably has something to do with the fact that you weren't getting the attention and appreciation you needed. Or maybe you're thinking. . .although that's not an excuse. Or maybe you're thinking "My girlfriend left me because I was never around." But ask yourself, why were you never around?
Now that you're not in continuous contact with your ex, you can take time to look at things more objectively. Use this time constructively to list all the positive and negative factors in the old relationship. In the meantime, make sure you take care of yourself, eat healthy foods and exercise when possible.
Then, after you've had time to concentrate on yourself and look at the old relationship with more objective eyes, you can think about making that first contact with your ex. Ask him or her out for coffee in a nonchalant manner. If he or she says yes, go out, talk about light non-threatening subjects and keep it short. At the end of the date, don't re-schedule another unless your ex suggests it. So, in answer to your question "Can I get my ex to love me again?" Yes, you can!
The date may go well, the date may go ok or the date may go terribly. In the last case, you'll need to re-evaluate your situation and see if you want to continue trying later on or if you need to think about moving on.
But if the date goes well, you will see how the answer to "Can I Get My Ex to Love Me Again?" is "Yes, I can!"
Men and women get out of relationships for different reasons, many of which are not understood by the opposite sex because men's and women's brains are wired differently. This makes things even more confusing. Some situations seem to be pretty straight-forward but most aren't.
So before we tackle your goal of getting your ex back, let's take a look at why he or she isn't around in the first place.
Why do men leave relationships? It's pretty simple, really. They leave when they aren't getting what they need. And one sure thing that they need is admiration and respect. It might be for that reason that they they left . . .and maybe they found it somewhere else. One of the most common reasons men give for leaving their wife or girlfriend is “No matter what I did, I couldn’t make her happy!”
Why do women leave relationships? They leave because they feel unappreciated and/or they leave because they are bored. What do you commonly hear from unhappy women? “He doesn’t appreciate a thing I do!”
Now, you might think that your ex's reasons for leaving don't fit into one of those categories. You may be thinking, "my husband left me because I cheated on him." But why did you cheat on him in the first place? It probably has something to do with the fact that you weren't getting the attention and appreciation you needed. Or maybe you're thinking. . .although that's not an excuse. Or maybe you're thinking "My girlfriend left me because I was never around." But ask yourself, why were you never around?
Now that you're not in continuous contact with your ex, you can take time to look at things more objectively. Use this time constructively to list all the positive and negative factors in the old relationship. In the meantime, make sure you take care of yourself, eat healthy foods and exercise when possible.
Then, after you've had time to concentrate on yourself and look at the old relationship with more objective eyes, you can think about making that first contact with your ex. Ask him or her out for coffee in a nonchalant manner. If he or she says yes, go out, talk about light non-threatening subjects and keep it short. At the end of the date, don't re-schedule another unless your ex suggests it. So, in answer to your question "Can I get my ex to love me again?" Yes, you can!
The date may go well, the date may go ok or the date may go terribly. In the last case, you'll need to re-evaluate your situation and see if you want to continue trying later on or if you need to think about moving on.
But if the date goes well, you will see how the answer to "Can I Get My Ex to Love Me Again?" is "Yes, I can!"
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Things I Have Learned From The Women That Have Dumped Me
Guest post by T.W. Jackson the Author of the "Magic Of Making Up"
People who are in a tough spot with their loved one and are trying to rekindle love in the relationship, in order to prevent the relationship from falling apart, can likely benefit from some things I've learned from women who have dumped me.
This is because I have "been there, done that" when it comes to relationships, and I have learned a lot about how to keep a relationship going, or even more importantly in some situations, how to know when the relationship really is coming to an end.
Here are some of the things I've learned from women who have dumped me, and how you can use them to your advantage to win back love.
1 - One of the biggest things I've learned from women who have dumped me is that sometimes women break up relationships with every intention of rekindling things later, but they break the relationship up to create some much needed space for a period of time.
In other words, just because she broke up with you, that does not mean that it's all over. Just give her some time and some space and everything will probably be alright again in no time.
2 - Another one of the things I've learned from women who have dumped me is that often women will break up a relationship simply because they think you are going to break up with them, and are trying to beat you to the punch. You can counteract this by being honest about your feelings and intentions to calm down her need to end things first.
It is normal for people to want to have the last word in an argument, and being the one initiating the break up is an example of this. Let her know that you don't want to break things up and you may just be able to keep the relationship from falling apart.
3 - One of the final things I've learned from women who have dumped me, that you should keep in mind is that if you work hard enough to rekindle things, you can make a relationship work. A breakup does not have to mean that the relationship is over forever, it simply means that the relationship needs some time and that both parties require some time apart. You do not have to give up on the relationship or the love behind it just because a hiatus is needed.
Stay strong if you find yourself having relationship problems, and know that every break up comes with life lessons that you can take with you in order to help you with future relationship problems, regardless of what life throws at you.
Guess post from T.W. Jackson
For more on his insights on relationship protocol CLICK HERE to see his ebook
"MAGIC OF MAKING UP" is an in-depth look at relationship techniques and strategies to improve any get together.
People who are in a tough spot with their loved one and are trying to rekindle love in the relationship, in order to prevent the relationship from falling apart, can likely benefit from some things I've learned from women who have dumped me.
This is because I have "been there, done that" when it comes to relationships, and I have learned a lot about how to keep a relationship going, or even more importantly in some situations, how to know when the relationship really is coming to an end.
Here are some of the things I've learned from women who have dumped me, and how you can use them to your advantage to win back love.
1 - One of the biggest things I've learned from women who have dumped me is that sometimes women break up relationships with every intention of rekindling things later, but they break the relationship up to create some much needed space for a period of time.
In other words, just because she broke up with you, that does not mean that it's all over. Just give her some time and some space and everything will probably be alright again in no time.
2 - Another one of the things I've learned from women who have dumped me is that often women will break up a relationship simply because they think you are going to break up with them, and are trying to beat you to the punch. You can counteract this by being honest about your feelings and intentions to calm down her need to end things first.
It is normal for people to want to have the last word in an argument, and being the one initiating the break up is an example of this. Let her know that you don't want to break things up and you may just be able to keep the relationship from falling apart.
3 - One of the final things I've learned from women who have dumped me, that you should keep in mind is that if you work hard enough to rekindle things, you can make a relationship work. A breakup does not have to mean that the relationship is over forever, it simply means that the relationship needs some time and that both parties require some time apart. You do not have to give up on the relationship or the love behind it just because a hiatus is needed.
Stay strong if you find yourself having relationship problems, and know that every break up comes with life lessons that you can take with you in order to help you with future relationship problems, regardless of what life throws at you.
Guess post from T.W. Jackson
For more on his insights on relationship protocol CLICK HERE to see his ebook
"MAGIC OF MAKING UP" is an in-depth look at relationship techniques and strategies to improve any get together.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
How To Come Back Stronger Than Ever After Infidelity
After infidelity, a relationship is going to be at its weakest point, but it is possible to come back from it. Infidelity is one of the major reasons that relationships fall apart, but the truth is that cheating is almost always a symptom of something bigger. As bad as cheating is, it's not what you need to focus on to restore your relationship after infidelity.
Cheating is usually a sign that the person doing the cheating is looking for something they're not getting from the relationship. This isn't saying that the partner who was cheated on is doing anything wrong, just that there is a major problem in the bedrock of the relationship.
If you are going to come back after infidelity, then there are a few tips you need to follow in order to make the process as easy and effective as possible.
Tip One: Take Charge
If you want to repair your relationship after infidelity, then you need to take charge. The cheating might not have been your fault, but the responsibility for fixing things is going to have to fall on you. You can't make your partner do something, so you can't just sit back and hope that things will fix themselves.
This will also help you to feel better about the relationship. Being cheated on makes you feel like a victim, and taking charge to repair your relationship will give you back the strength and pride that cheating took away.
Tip Two: Don't Play the Blame Game
The human thing is to want to blame the cheater and heap all your emotions on to them. While this may help you feel better, it won't help you rebuild your relationship after infidelity. You need to put away blame and move past it.
This can be difficult, but the best thing you can do is not expect an apology and don't fish for one. You'll get one, if the relationship can be saved, but if you spend timing trying to get them to admit how much they hurt you, you won't be spending the time you need to be spending fixing the relationship.
Tip Three: Find the Reasons Why
Infidelity is a sign that something is broken in your relationship. Even if you manage to get over the cheating and get back together, if you don't find out what caused it, then your relationship is going to fail.
This will take brutal honesty on both of your parts, and it's important that you try to keep your emotions in check. Your partner's reasons are going to sound like excuses, but if you keep communicating you will eventually be able to find the truth about what needs to be fixed in your relationship.
Tip Four: Learn to Trust Again
In many ways, this is the toughest thing to do after infidelity. The trust has been broken, and it will be hard to get it back, but you need to be able to trust your partner again. No relationship has ever succeeded based on suspicion and paranoia.
There are many resources available to help you recover after infidelity, and you should make use of them. Repairing your relationship is hard enough, no matter what, so take the extra step and get the help you need to make things good again.
CLICK HERE for more relationship techniques
Cheating is usually a sign that the person doing the cheating is looking for something they're not getting from the relationship. This isn't saying that the partner who was cheated on is doing anything wrong, just that there is a major problem in the bedrock of the relationship.
If you are going to come back after infidelity, then there are a few tips you need to follow in order to make the process as easy and effective as possible.
Tip One: Take Charge
If you want to repair your relationship after infidelity, then you need to take charge. The cheating might not have been your fault, but the responsibility for fixing things is going to have to fall on you. You can't make your partner do something, so you can't just sit back and hope that things will fix themselves.
This will also help you to feel better about the relationship. Being cheated on makes you feel like a victim, and taking charge to repair your relationship will give you back the strength and pride that cheating took away.
Tip Two: Don't Play the Blame Game
The human thing is to want to blame the cheater and heap all your emotions on to them. While this may help you feel better, it won't help you rebuild your relationship after infidelity. You need to put away blame and move past it.
This can be difficult, but the best thing you can do is not expect an apology and don't fish for one. You'll get one, if the relationship can be saved, but if you spend timing trying to get them to admit how much they hurt you, you won't be spending the time you need to be spending fixing the relationship.
Tip Three: Find the Reasons Why
Infidelity is a sign that something is broken in your relationship. Even if you manage to get over the cheating and get back together, if you don't find out what caused it, then your relationship is going to fail.
This will take brutal honesty on both of your parts, and it's important that you try to keep your emotions in check. Your partner's reasons are going to sound like excuses, but if you keep communicating you will eventually be able to find the truth about what needs to be fixed in your relationship.
Tip Four: Learn to Trust Again
In many ways, this is the toughest thing to do after infidelity. The trust has been broken, and it will be hard to get it back, but you need to be able to trust your partner again. No relationship has ever succeeded based on suspicion and paranoia.
There are many resources available to help you recover after infidelity, and you should make use of them. Repairing your relationship is hard enough, no matter what, so take the extra step and get the help you need to make things good again.
CLICK HERE for more relationship techniques
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Relationship Depression
Relationship depression is pretty common when you’re in a relationship that has recently had problems like a break up or separation. You might feel that it’s crazy to feel this way, because you’ve saved the relationship and are still together. You’re supposed to feel happy, not suffering from relationship depression.
But it’s fairly common because no matter how good the relationship might be going now you recently had a rocky patch. If your biggest fear then was that you would lose the other person, you should be happy, right? You’re still together. So why the relationship depression?
Going through that rough period can be devastating. You feel all sorts of emotions. If cheating was involved, the break up or cooling off period was probably even worse. If you were cheated on, you know there’s nothing more painful that can happen over the course of a relationship.
And if you were cheated on and you forgave that person to stay in the relationship, it’s going to take some time to fully heal. No wonder you feel depressed! You’re putting yourself out there again after being hurt.
If you cheated and the other person forgave you, maybe you feel depressed because you hurt them and its just now sinking in? Or maybe you feel hounded, as if he or she suspects your every move? You also might be unhappy because maybe you really didn’t want to stay in the relationship and you’re only now becoming aware of it.
If no cheating was involved, depression can still strike and make you feel bad. For whatever reason, you or your partner weren’t together, or were considering breaking up. That’s a hard pill to swallow!
You’re faced with knowing that maybe the other person was going to decide to live without you. Even though in the end they decided to stay with you, that they were considering something else is a painful thing!
And sometimes relationship depression is brought on by fear. When things were over or almost over, you felt horrible. And you remember that feeling now. You might imagine, without really knowing it, how you would have felt if the relationship had not gotten back together.
The fear of that happening now or what you would be feeling now if it had, can make you depressed. That’s a natural reaction.
And overall, a break up is one of the most painful things a person can go through, no matter what the reason. Even if you didn’t officially split, things were tense enough that the possibility was there. When a relationship ends, you go through the same thought processes and emotions as you do with any painful ending, like a death.
So it’s a very difficult life challenge to have a break up or a near break up. It’s great that you’ve worked it out and gotten back together. Just stay strong in the relationship. Make sure that’s where you really want to be, and the relationship depression will pass.
CLICK HERE for more relationship insights
But it’s fairly common because no matter how good the relationship might be going now you recently had a rocky patch. If your biggest fear then was that you would lose the other person, you should be happy, right? You’re still together. So why the relationship depression?
Going through that rough period can be devastating. You feel all sorts of emotions. If cheating was involved, the break up or cooling off period was probably even worse. If you were cheated on, you know there’s nothing more painful that can happen over the course of a relationship.
And if you were cheated on and you forgave that person to stay in the relationship, it’s going to take some time to fully heal. No wonder you feel depressed! You’re putting yourself out there again after being hurt.
If you cheated and the other person forgave you, maybe you feel depressed because you hurt them and its just now sinking in? Or maybe you feel hounded, as if he or she suspects your every move? You also might be unhappy because maybe you really didn’t want to stay in the relationship and you’re only now becoming aware of it.
If no cheating was involved, depression can still strike and make you feel bad. For whatever reason, you or your partner weren’t together, or were considering breaking up. That’s a hard pill to swallow!
You’re faced with knowing that maybe the other person was going to decide to live without you. Even though in the end they decided to stay with you, that they were considering something else is a painful thing!
And sometimes relationship depression is brought on by fear. When things were over or almost over, you felt horrible. And you remember that feeling now. You might imagine, without really knowing it, how you would have felt if the relationship had not gotten back together.
The fear of that happening now or what you would be feeling now if it had, can make you depressed. That’s a natural reaction.
And overall, a break up is one of the most painful things a person can go through, no matter what the reason. Even if you didn’t officially split, things were tense enough that the possibility was there. When a relationship ends, you go through the same thought processes and emotions as you do with any painful ending, like a death.
So it’s a very difficult life challenge to have a break up or a near break up. It’s great that you’ve worked it out and gotten back together. Just stay strong in the relationship. Make sure that’s where you really want to be, and the relationship depression will pass.
CLICK HERE for more relationship insights
Friday, March 26, 2010
The Wife Led Relationship Is It For You?
There are different degrees to a wife led relationship. Many men are content and even thrilled to let the wife take complete control of the relationship. This goes beyond letting her make the decisions, into dominant and submissive behavior. Some men simply allow the wife to make the major decisions and set the tone, without being truly submissive.
To what degree your marriage becomes a wife led relationship is based mostly on both your preferences. Maybe you feel better when she makes the decisions and handles the checkbook. Remember that though you’re allowing her to have that control, it can be a burden too. Especially if she’s not comfortable with those tasks.
Rather than feeling like she’s lucky to have control, she might feel that you’re pushing off unpleasant decisions and jobs onto her. Be sure to balance it by taking over things that she doesn’t like to do. This type of marriage is wife led in the sense that she has the major amount of control.
But a popular fantasy for many men is to have a truly wife led relationship. They become quite submissive to the wife in everything. They do the chores and anything she tells them. And serving their wives in this way pleases them a great deal.
The submissiveness even carries over to their sex lives. In fact, that’s the big appeal for many men in having this type of relationship. They secretly want to be dominated sexually, and the rest just adds to that appeal.
In a true wife led relationship, the man knows that she has authority over him. He does the chores and tries to anticipate her every need. She doesn’t thank him, but may tell him he’s doing a good job.
When it comes to sex, the man is only allowed as much pleasure as the woman feels like letting him have. And not allowing him to have an orgasm, or delaying it, is something these men find enjoyable.
A relationship of this type isn’t for everyone, but many men feel happiest when their wives have control. And while it might sound like the woman has it made in a wife led relationship, it’s not always easy for her either.
CLICK HERE for more relationship insights
If a woman has been raised believing in the typical roles of husband and wife, suddenly being asked to take charge of everything can be daunting. Granted, the housework and other chores will probably be done by the man. But the handling of the big decisions, finances and other things might be a new experience.
Some women may not enjoy it, at least not all the time. But if the man really wants that, a compromise could work where certain days or periods of time are spent with the wife taking charge.
If you would like this kind of relationship but don’t know how to ask your wife, you may want to write your feelings down. Or you could start behaving as if you’re in a wife-led relationship and then bring it up by asking her if she likes your behavior.
T.W. Jackson has many more relationship techniques that are worth exploring.
His "Magic of Making Up" program is full of strategies and techniques to help make any relationship more comfortable.
To what degree your marriage becomes a wife led relationship is based mostly on both your preferences. Maybe you feel better when she makes the decisions and handles the checkbook. Remember that though you’re allowing her to have that control, it can be a burden too. Especially if she’s not comfortable with those tasks.
Rather than feeling like she’s lucky to have control, she might feel that you’re pushing off unpleasant decisions and jobs onto her. Be sure to balance it by taking over things that she doesn’t like to do. This type of marriage is wife led in the sense that she has the major amount of control.
But a popular fantasy for many men is to have a truly wife led relationship. They become quite submissive to the wife in everything. They do the chores and anything she tells them. And serving their wives in this way pleases them a great deal.
The submissiveness even carries over to their sex lives. In fact, that’s the big appeal for many men in having this type of relationship. They secretly want to be dominated sexually, and the rest just adds to that appeal.
In a true wife led relationship, the man knows that she has authority over him. He does the chores and tries to anticipate her every need. She doesn’t thank him, but may tell him he’s doing a good job.
When it comes to sex, the man is only allowed as much pleasure as the woman feels like letting him have. And not allowing him to have an orgasm, or delaying it, is something these men find enjoyable.
A relationship of this type isn’t for everyone, but many men feel happiest when their wives have control. And while it might sound like the woman has it made in a wife led relationship, it’s not always easy for her either.
CLICK HERE for more relationship insights
If a woman has been raised believing in the typical roles of husband and wife, suddenly being asked to take charge of everything can be daunting. Granted, the housework and other chores will probably be done by the man. But the handling of the big decisions, finances and other things might be a new experience.
Some women may not enjoy it, at least not all the time. But if the man really wants that, a compromise could work where certain days or periods of time are spent with the wife taking charge.
If you would like this kind of relationship but don’t know how to ask your wife, you may want to write your feelings down. Or you could start behaving as if you’re in a wife-led relationship and then bring it up by asking her if she likes your behavior.
T.W. Jackson has many more relationship techniques that are worth exploring.
His "Magic of Making Up" program is full of strategies and techniques to help make any relationship more comfortable.
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